Anger: The spoil sport

Time is a bitter thing sometimes. It doesnt have a rewind button, which would allow us to undo wrongs that we did in the past. A word uttered cant be caught back. We all know these universal truths, but still, sometimes things dont happen as per our wish.

I usually dont regret for the mistakes that i did knowingly. For example, like splurging unnecessarily while in my youth. I knew it was irresponsible, but none that would affect others. And hence i usually never regretted it, because i knew i have enjoyed that time when i did it. But thats not the case with words that are exchanged between friends or family. A wrong word uttered and the other person has difficulty forgetting it. This happened to me just this past week.

My patience levels are generally quite high, unless someone is hell-bent on stepping on my last nerve. Another factor for disappointment is expectation. We expect others to behave in a certain fashion, and when that doesn't happen, we are in for disappointment which also brings other unpleasant emotions with it.

This past week i was little disappointed about some aspect, and hence i shared it with my better half. I was expecting some kind of solace and wanted to hear some kind words from her. But she started advising me. I didn't expect advise at that hour. Without my knowledge I had started arguing with her and also i started shouting without my knowledge. Though i never use any inappropriate language, my volume had gone high. She was quite hurt, and when i realised my folly, i cooled down very soon. But the damage was already done. When loved ones hurt, the pain is all the more difficult to die down.

She expressed her unhappiness with my behaviour. Apart from tendering an apology i didn't want to say anything more. Time will heal the hurt, but its better to hold one's tongue and temper than to rue later. Every failure has a lesson. I better learn from my own mistake. Smart people learn from other's mistakes, rather than committing their own. I hope readers of my blog will be smarter than me in this aspect.

God bless.